Monday, November 16, 2015

SPAM Poetry #2

SPAM email subject lines made into short poems. Spelling, grammar, and punctuation taken exactly. Each line is an individual subject line.


Hello Mr. Dependable!!!
Are you ready to love a girl till death separates you?
Are you brave enough to protect your love in any situation?
Will you do anything in life for her?
Just say the magic words....And any woman is yours.

Church on Christmas Eve afternoon, 1973.
Dapples, who is under Zelda's control.
He continues to produce music and is ever popular as a collaborator and remixer.
Don't forget about me...


Be expert of night acts
Be well-informed about rules of intimacy
Give your woman delight
She won't let you to do a break at night
You can have delight several times on end
The only method to improve your loving life...
Methods to make your love more passionate...
No one sleeps with shmucks


Would Thicker  and Fuller Hair -- Make  You  Happy
We know exactly what you need to feel the best!
Magic loving life


Many  Are 'Praising' This: As  A Holy  Grail.
Let  us 'help' - protect  your  family...
We 'get  rid' of  your unwanted  timeshare.
Assisted 'Living' for: your Loved ones...
Medical grade: 'toning' technology.
Could this be possible?


Become A better-cook.
Make a real gift for your girlfriend
Improve your personal life.
Don't slow your life down! Be a healthy man.
Walk to happy future


Take security Monitoring Into your Own Hands.
Razor blades used to be expensive.
Get rid of bad dreams


Don't accept mental decline as sign of getting old. Stay Sharp. Start Today.
Do You Hate -- Typing On Your IPad... ??
Are you one? Well I hope that you are.

- Joyful Darkness.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

The Birthday Post: 36 years and counting [my blessings]

Today marks 36 years since I met the cold air of a hospital room for the first time. Every year (with few exceptions) has been significantly better than the one before. I've added to the long list of books read, pages written, adventures had, and experiences, uh, experienced.

Things I've found that have made my life's journey even better:
1. Be kind to those who deserve it the least. Paying back poison with poison does nothing but produce more poison, but paying back poison with antidote reduces the amount of poison out there.
2. But that doesn't mean staying the victim. If people are assholes, remove them from your life - do not strike back, for that makes you an asshole too. It is ok to JUST LEAVE - literally or metaphorically.
3. Work on things that matter to you. This goes along the lines of 'love what you do, and you'll never work a day in your life' but more realistic. My job MATTERS to me, even if some days I do not love it. What I accomplish at work, home, and church MATTER to me, and I am willing to work through the things I do not 'like' to get to the end result.
4. Don't let other peoples opinions of what matters overrule your own. Some people think that home comes first, others work (for various reasons), others put themselves first. None of these are literally wrong, or literally right. You may also find what matters changes over time, so for this season work/school/relationship/family is what YOU need to put first, other people will be in a different place.
5. Don't compare apples to oranges. Or your life to someone else's. Unless you have LITERALLY lived the exact same life, and do that EXACT same things as them, experienced the EXACT same thing... it's an exercise in futility.
6. Compare you today to you yesterday. Are you taking steps today to make you a better you? No? Do that. Little things, not big. Make a phone call, send an email, take a walk, go to the gym, hug your kid - whatever. And if today doesn't go so hot? Meh, tomorrow is another day - but try to not procrastinate - or you will feel overwhelmed at all the things you have left to do.
7. Look at your life in short chunks. Tomorrow, Next Week, Next Month, Next Year. What can you do today to make tomorrow better? What can you plan to do tomorrow to make your life better in one week? What can you do over the next week to make the next month better? What Can you do over the next month to make the next year better? Do those things. Little things. they add up to big things. If you need to use something to track it, something physical, like marbles in a jar.
8. Laugh, Think, Cry. Everyday. If you want to know where I got that idea - Jimmy V's ESPY Awards speech., that can be all three for you today. Success!!
9. Be grateful, but hungry. Be thankful for all that you have, but never stop trying to do more, be more. Change is good, stagnation is death.
10. Stuff won't make you happy. Experience life, in whatever way that manifests for you. For me, right now, that is my Son, my Husband, my Family, my Yarn - and all the 'stuff' that accumulates around me is just window dressing.

Above all else, count your blessings - you will find they number more than the stars in the sky.

With Love, and many more years to go,
Joyful Darkness

Yarn and More