Monday, April 14, 2014

What They Don't Tell You to Expect when You are Expecting: Part 1, Morning Sickness

I love the What to Expect App, I check it regularly to remind myself what The Kid looks like now, and what bits and pieces we are making this week. At week 14 The Kid is roughly the size of a clenched fist, which is the first non-fruit related size comparison I've seen. 

STOP READING NOW IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED IN BODILY FUNCTIONS

What they have not covered, even in the article on Morning Sickness, are all the things that could set off the digestive pyrotechnics.

Reasons I throw up, first trimester edition:
  • I ate (too much, the wrong thing, too often)
  • I didn’t eat (enough, frequently enough)
  • I’m over tired
  • I over slept
  • I smelled something
  • I leaned over too long
  • I stretched too long
  • A cat stood on my tummy (while I was sleeping)
  • I sneezed too much
  • I yawned too hard
  • I coughed too much
  • I’m cold
  • I’m hot
  • My jeans are too tight
  • My shirt/jacket/scarf touched my neck
  • The drive was too bumpy
  • And my personal favorite - No reason. 


Another thing they didn't tell me on their app, or their website, or anywhere really - no one warned me and I'm annoyed - when you barf you pee, even if you already went to the bathroom mere seconds before. It's clearly important to know, and they tell you all kinds of other 'gross' stuff but no one mentions that. I now have a change of pants in my truck at all times, just in case. Thankfully this did not occur in public the first time, and I was able to plan for it as a result. So be warned! 

Expectantly
Joyful Darkness.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

We aren't foolin'

For those that are still wondering, the announcement I posted yesterday (April 1) on facebook is most certainly true. 

The Kilted One and I are expecting our first child on October 14th. This came as a shock to many, and so I figured I would head you all off at the pass by explaining a few things.

We, too, thought we would never have biological children. That’s what the doc said many, many, many years ago. I guess they were wrong.

As such, we did not plan this kid. We don’t really excel at planning anything anyway, and the very thought of trying to plan a kid seems ludicrous to us.  Obviously YMMV.

We are just as surprised (if not more so) than you are, shocked really. It took a whole week, a number of pregnancy tests, and a lot of throwing up to convince us that this was real.

We are not planning on finding out the gender until The Kid is born, but retain the right to change our minds. 
We do not care that you want to know, and none of the old wives tales are viable, please do not play the guessing game.

We do have names we are considering; no, we will not share them with you.

Yes, I have the start of a bump; no, you cannot touch it.

Sincerely, 
Joyful Darkness.


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